Life has its own way of playing tricks on us …
We have all been the victims of unwanted detours, closed doors and unfortunate circumstances.
I have heard more than once that if you feel good where you are and what you do, be prepared because everything is probably about to fall apart.
Well, even if it’s a rather fatalistic point of view, there is some real behind it.
Life is not Easy and Never Will Be
We go through life with its share of joy and distress. For a moment, everything seems to be going well, the stars are perfectly aligned and the wind is favorable to us.
But similarly, we suddenly experience tragedies which seem to strike every time at the worst moments.
Death, divorce, accidents, illness: we are all sensitive to an unforeseen misfortune.
It is not a question of avoiding or denying misfortune, but of preparing for it. It’s about allowing tragedy to make us better and not bitter. How to recognize a man in love who hides his feelings?
What My Best Friend’s Story Taught Me
She and her husband got together on a beautiful sunny June day.
They had a blissful romance, they laughed, loved each other and had fun: a real fairy tale.
Then, just as they were gaining momentum as honeymooners and forging their way through this ruthless world, darkness struck.
19 months after sharing their wishes, my friend was diagnosed with cancer and given her less than a 20% chance of survival.
The worst tricks had just entered their perfect existence and they found themselves faced with a tragedy of the greatest magnitude.
It would be easy to have become bitter, it would have been very natural after this loss of a happiness they thought was eternal.
But dealing with the end of someone’s life will teach you something.
And what they and I have learned is that we have a choice to make in our struggles: we can become “love” or “bitter” but we can’t have both.
Be sure where your heart lies.
Bitterness is sneaky and creeps in at the first signs of weakness.
So Here are 10 Tips for You to Get Better Instead of Bitter.
1. Choose Joy
And I’m not talking about happiness, there is a clear difference between the two.
Happiness is an outward expression while joy is an inner decision.
Happiness is a reaction to what is happening around us where joy is a conscious choice.
Also Read: 10 Key Ingredients of A Healthy Relationship
Choosing joy will transform the way you live and allow you to see beyond what is going on in your life.
2. Grieve Bad Experiences But Get Up
When pain comes knocking on your door, act like the noble being that you are and let it enter with grace.
Do not fight her and do not try to run away: Pain is not your enemy, it is a healer.
Let it reveal to you the parts of you that need healing; the parts of you that have been neglected for so long.
And let that pain bring you back to life.
Then mourn.
Grieving is a normal response to a tragic situation. It’s good to cry and scream and get angry.
But don’t indulge yourself in it.
Go through these feelings but be sure to keep walking.
Surrendering in the midst of grief can destroy you so if you want things to get better, feel it and move on.
3. Choose Your Friends Wisely
Some friends fall into our lives by accident while others are hard-earned.
Remember, you are who you choose to surround yourself with.
If “Sophie l’Amère” is your best friend, her bitterness will certainly rub off on you.
Be aware of how your friends make you feel.
As a wise man once said, perhaps nothing affects a man’s character more than the society around him.
So stay away from places, people, and experiences that only poison your beautiful mind and play with your loving heart.
Don’t let darkness come over you.
In doing so, you will feel more centered and at peace, with yourself and with the world around you.
And from this sacred and balanced place it will be so much easier for you to become better and not bitter.
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4. Keep The Faith
No matter what your religion or your beliefs, have faith.
Faith that it’s gonna get easier, that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Without belief in something, there can be no belief in anything.
Have faith that where you are now is not where you will always be.
Allow your own truth to guide you through life’s many difficulties. Learn to turn your hurts into wisdom and all your difficulties into opportunities.
5. Have Hope
As with faith, we must never lose hope.
Despair is fertile ground for bitterness.
Those who give up hope often fester to the very end, drown in bitterness.
When all else is gone, hope will be your anchor.
When disaster strikes, hope will be the gentle balm that heals your wounds.
Hope gives us a perspective for the future and allows us to grow through our trials.
6. Be Volunteers Because You Will Never Be Alone
Don’t drift.
Complacency leads to discontent and resentment.
If we live without intentions, we become victims.
We fall prey to our tragedies.
A victim mentality is a guarantee of bitterness.
Each story has its limits of course, but try to maintain a certain level of normalcy in your life, despite your dramas.
Be intentional about how you spend your days. Sitting on the couch is the perfect recipe for disaster to come.
We rarely have a choice of the challenges we will face but we have a choice in how we will respond to them.
Being intentional is a sure-fire way to regain power.
Also know that you are not alone.
The challenges that you are now facing, someone has faced them before.
Find out who these people were and how they got out.
Because in doing so, in your moments of intense pain and darkness, you will no longer feel so alone.
Get inspired by them!
7. Find the Lesson to be Learned
While this is cliché and easier said than done, there are lessons to be learned from your tragedy.
I’m not talking about why it happened but rather the wisdom you can learn from it.
Every struggle can teach you something.
The fight against cancer has completely changed my friend’s life.
There were a lot of disappointments that resulted from her diagnosis but because she found the strength to learn from it she became a better person.
She confessed to me that she learned more in her lower times than in her higher times.
8. Don’t Forget all the Good Things
It’s easy to focus on the negative in the midst of unhappiness.
Remember, life hasn’t always been and won’t always be difficult.
We all have something to be thankful for, and focusing on the positive things in your life will protect you from bitterness.
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9. Get Healthy
Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
When you are physically weak, become emotionally strong.
When you’re emotionally weak, hit the gym and work out!
Be careful what you give to your body.
Eat what gets you in shape and treat your body kindly, it’s the only one you have in this life …
10. Help Others and Work to be a Better Person.
Your own tragedies give you a glimpse of what others may be going through.
Be the person for someone else that you wish you had by your side during your difficult times.
Helping others gives us an outside perspective and allows us to see life for what it really is.
There will always be someone else going through something worse and something better.
Reaching out and being there for others not only helps you but others as well.
To aspire to greater greatness, paint a picture in your mind of the person you would like to be, the thoughts you would like to think about, the feelings you would like to experience, and the behaviors you would like to manifest in your world.
Keep your mind focused on this higher version of yourself and remember who you aspire to be as often as necessary.
Allow this noble image of you to be a source of strength, courage and inspiration in your times of darkness.
Also Read: Easily Develop Your Self-Confidence in 3 Different Ways
And no matter what is happening all around you, don’t let anything or anyone stop you from becoming that higher version of yourself.
Accept Life As It Is
This is how life is sometimes pleasant and sometimes terrible, sometimes funny and sometimes not.
And although you may not always understand why things are as they are, the moment you surrender and allow them to be, you will find that your life will regain some semblance of balance and your mind will calm down.
There you have it, I hope this article will help you become more “love” than bitter in the face of chaos, madness, pain and suffering and I also hope that these words will inspire you and allow you to leave behind you all that is not of the domain of the light.
Take care of yourself, you are beautiful people!
